one of the traits and characteristic that i have and proud of that many of my friends and those who know me actually didn’t know or even noticed was once I set my attention to something, i never give up on it until I achieve what i desire or unless totally screwed up trying.
recently i had this plan on becoming an agent for many know it has good compensation and for some just a thought of it is somehow cool, although I’m not technically good at it I tried though (why did I say im not good at it?) its proven after I applied for about 8 companies, spent less than a thousand for meal, fare, reprinting resume, reloading my prepaid moblie(for conversation with companies representatives) still no luck. not to mention my efforts, patience and time spent during this whole procces, i got nothing in return but rejection letters sometimes thougts cross my head that my sacrifices (climate change, hunger etcetera) turns out worthless but on the other hand Im still looking on a bright side I dont care if they reject me its the expirience that I treasure, and the mistake that i commited so that in the futere never do the same
see, even totally screwed up by rejections .. never I lose hope, I’m not giving up, I know I can do it and I use all my mistake from the pastas a lesson for my present and future. never be rejected for the same reasons and soon all that reasons will be eliminated all that left is acceptance. and i have a very good feeling that what I want is right here in front of me and seems like I can almost smell it its just that I cannot touch it
not now, not yet but soon
a lot of the person that I spoke with or converse with, with this kind of matter stated that they admire me for having a very positive perspective despite of what ive been through maybe they cant take rejection the way I can ( somehow used to disowning)to tell the truth I’m not like that, sometimes I feel like losing grip, hopeless, feeling worthless feel down (way down).
friends say that I am cool , relaxed, patient and in control over things around me. im actually afraid that in time i might lose my cool and no one knows might end up, all I know is its not good, or could be worst.
sometimes these days I get mad easily, max up temper (almost) raging in anger. luckily no physical violence so far (except for hurting myself), I yell and curse (not my type)
definitely my alter ego